Sir, Madame, Young Man, Young Lady, Boy, Girl:
If you happen to find yourself reading...Excuse me. I should begin again. Our best wishes to you. I am writing to you in the name of the men, women, children and old ones of the Zapatista Army of National Liberation.
Now. If you happen to find yourself reading these lines, it is owing to two reasons which have to do with each other - or which are mutually, reciprocally related - or with coming and going, as when one says the one goes with the other and vice versa. It's like a table leg, which is a table leg because there is a table which has legs, which, if it didn't, then the table would fall down and it would just be a table on the floor (or in the mud, because here the floor and the mud are reciprocal, if you follow me). Or also like the paddle for a raft, which is a paddle because there's a raft which needs paddles (I already know that there are rafts without paddles, but I'm talking about a raft with paddles, so stop your rhetorical games). I know!! I've come up with a verrry illustrative example! It's like a recipient who has a sender, because if there is no sender, then the recipient would be very sad, like Garci'a Ma'rquez' Colonel, whom no one wrote to. And if the sender doesn't have a recipient, then the sadness would be no less. To whom would he write? Fine, I think we're beginning to understand each other. So forget about legs, tables, paddles and rafts, and concentrate on the sender and the recipient. Ya? Fine, there's no problem here because the mystery has been cleared up: you are the recipient, and we are the senders. The only unknowns remaining are the two reasons which will explain why you are reading these lines. Great, I've already forgotten them. But I'll remember in just a second...Mmm...mmm...Oh, yes! Here they go:
It so happens that, as you most certainly already know (if not, then you wouldn't be reading this letter), we zapatudos have decided to send a delegation to the Mexican capital. The purpose of the trip is to engage in dialogue with the legislators in order to achieve the constitutional recognition of indigenous rights and culture. Fine, it so happens, then, that we are like tables without legs, like rafts without paddles, like senders without recipients (and vice versa), like knights without horses, like________ without ________ (you fill in the blanks. This is an interactive letter.com). In short, we need your financial help in order to carry out this trip which, it is quite clear, has no other goal than peace with justice and dignity. And so there are the two reasons: We are writing you because we trust you, and because we know you will understand what we are so confusingly saying to you (I hope).
Don't worry, you can help with anything. We are accepting all the currencies of the world and the galaxies (always and when they come from honest people like you), and we will not speculate with the exchange rate.
What? All that talk just for that? Perhaps, but we didn't even know, for example, if this letter was going to reach you, because we don't even have anything for postage stamps. And just think how sad you would be if you were a recipient without a sender...Right? Good, and so we are putting our trust in you.
Vale. Salud and, as no one has, of yet, said, Recipients of the World, Unite (or was it "senders"?)
>From the mountains of the Mexican Southeast.
Subcomandante Insurgente Marcos.
Mexico, January - February of 2001.
Ah?! I forgot. The bank account is:
Bancomer Branch 437 Account #5001060-5 Name: Senora Ma. Del Rosario Ibarra San Cristo'bal de Las Casas Chiapas, Mexico.